All Alone Now
by darkstorm5000
Summary: This is a short fanfic about Sydney. Yes, THAT Sydney. How will she handle losing the love of her life?


Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or it's characters.

A/N: This is a short fanfic about Sydney. After watching a rerun of Holiday, I couldn't help but feel kind of bad for her. I mean, I'm glad Joey and Caitlin finally got back together. I've been waiting for that since School's Out aired. But it must really hurt to be dumped right before the holidays. So here goes…

Sydney was sitting in a non-descript Toronto bar at a table in a dark corner, alone once again. Hours before she was at Degrassi C.S., she had been there to watch the stepson of her boyfriend, Joey Jeremiah. Sydney and Joey were getting more serious with their relationship, and she was hoping that one day in the near future she would become Mrs. Joey Jeremiah. But it didn't seem like things were going to turn out that way.

Joey had confronted her after the school performance about a conversation she had with Caitlin Ryan a few days prior. Sydney told Joey the truth, that there wasn't room enough for two women in his life, both who apparently were in love with him. She forced Joey to make a decision, did he love her or did he love Caitlin? She almost knew what the answer would be before he even gave it. Joey chose Caitlin. Sydney thought she would fall to pieces right there, but she held it together long enough for her to catch a taxi to somewhere else, anywhere else. So here she was.

She normally couldn't stand going to bars or nightclubs. Reason one being that she wasn't much of a drinker, and Reason two being that the environment didn't cheer her up. Unlike most people, it just depressed her even more. Being surrounded by a crowd of lonely people like her didn't make her feel better, it just reminded her what her life had been like all those years before, and what it would be like again, now that Joey was gone for good.

"How could I be so stupid?" Sydney silently thought to herself, "Caitlin practically declared that she was going to get Joey back at Spike's baby shower. But stupid me, I just invited her into our lives and just handed the love of my life over to her. So I guess this is what I deserve for being so naïve."

Caitlin's comments weren't the only reason that Sydney felt that she should have seen the writing on the wall. She had kept something to herself, something she hadn't revealed to anybody. The night of her office Christmas party, Sydney had asked Caitlin to baby-sit Angela while she and Joey attended the function.

"Another smooth move, Sydney." She lamented to herself.

When they returned, they found Angela asleep on the sofa with Caitlin. But Sydney got upset that Angela was sleeping in the outfit that she had gotten her for her ice skating performance. She knew that Angela was a child and didn't know any better, but thought that Caitlin should. In retrospect, she realized that was a perfect example of why Caitlin was the children's favorite, and she wasn't. Caitlin was more carefree and fun than her, but Sydney thought that what Joey really needed was a responsible woman to be a mother to his children. But she soon figured out that Joey wanted someone else also. While Sydney put Angela to bed, Joey escorted Caitlin to the front door. When Joey hadn't come back inside when she returned downstairs, Sydney went to the window to see what was taking him so long. That's when she saw it. Joey was standing on the front steps kissing Caitlin where not only she, but the entire neighborhood, could see them. Sydney was so hurt, that she couldn't even bring herself to mention it to Joey.

"That was my mistake." Sydney continued with her silent conversation, "I should've confronted him then and asked him who he really want to be with? At least then I would've been ready for his answer." Instead Sydney just wrote it off as two friends getting caught up in a nostalgic moment.

Sydney continued replaying all of the recent events through her mind. As she did, she poured herself another drink from the bottle that she had told the waitress to leave on the table.

"I thought I had finally gotten my life together. I was trying so hard to put together a family life not just for Joey and his kids, but also for me. I had swore that I would put an extra effort into my home life, especially after my divorce from Scott."

Sydney had been married previously, but it was a union that didn't last very long. She was too ambition driven to pay attention to anyone or anything that didn't help her advance in her career. Being with Joey was her chance to make up for her earlier mistakes with her first husband. It was also her chance to escape those lonely years after her divorce, when all she had to keep her company was an empty apartment and an answering machine full of messages from co-workers telling her about the latest news at the job, but no one calling to talk to her on a personal level. She had hated what she had become, a workaholic who was all alone and speeding towards a complete burnout.

That's why she found herself in this place surrounded by strangers. The thought of going back to that lonely apartment was a prospect she just could not handle at the moment. So she just sat there for hours, watching the people come and go. She watched as they made small talk and as many left with the hope that they had possibly found Mr. or Ms. Right. She wanted desperately to be able to cast caution to the wind and flirt with some guy, even if it meant just being together for one night. But deep down Sydney didn't want that, she wanted something real, she wanted what she thought she had with Joey. As closing time approached, Sydney paid her tab and walked out of the door. She was unsure of where she was going, both tonight and for the rest of her life.

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The End


End file.
